Konoha Action News Channel 9
by Dory'n'Confu
Summary: What happens when two demented girls enter the Naruto world? They become News Anchors of course! Follow them as they witness bombs, Kakashi's porn shop & Weredolphin!Iruka Warning: Contains swearing, M/M, and complete insanity. R&R Please!
1. Breaking News

A/N: Hello! Yuffie here! Well this story…is another random story… (Very random) That me and Michiyo have written together when we were younger…so be warned!

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto, Just the stupid plot we made up and the two OC's we inserted…Yuffie and Michiyo.

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Chapter 1

"Hello my name is Yuffie." the first reporter introduced herself.

"And my name is Michiyo." the other reporter sitting next to her said.

"Welcome to Konoha Action News, Where we give you all of the back stabbing, kunai throwing action...Our top story today is a blonde headed boy with blue eyes who is wearing orange was caught at a Ramen Shop eating every last bit of ramen he could find, he attempted to escape without paying, he was chased for 2 minutes then tackled to the ground. We have live footage right now." Yuffie explained in her reporter voice.

The screen slowly faded to the scene of the crime.

"No, I can't go to jail, I'm going to become hokage one day, believe it!!" the boy yelled while being shoved, pushed and punched into the jail cell.

"Ahahaha..." Michiyo chuckled. She then said under her breath, but loud enough to hear, "What an idiot...what does my cousin see in him..." while arranging some papers in front of her.

"Uhh...We could hear that." Yuffie said to her blankly.

"Oh. Ahem." Michiyo pretending she didn't know all along.

"Well. We will get back to you wholesome cough viewers later with more information. In other news, a local fan group decided to hold a dog-boy for ransom." Michiyo said cheerfully. "They screamed, 'Give us the Uchiha or the puppy dies!'. Well...its obviously Sakura and Ino again because they don't have masks...and the dog-boy is actually Shino...thought it would be Kiba...uh...yeah...and I wish they would leave my cousin alone before I throw kunai at their fluff filled brains." she then said as if they were the stupidest things on the planet.

"Okay, back over to you Yuffie-san." Michiyo said cheerfully.

"In other news, Sasuke was seen writing a ransom letter to Kakashi, The letter stated that ' I have your book, if you ever want to see it again, come to the bridge at 8pm, don't be late or the book is going for a swim' when kakashi read this he immediately went to the bridge and sat there for 4 hrs waiting for sasuke to show up at 8. It is now 8 and we have live footage of what is happening." the reporter said.

"Sasuke, please don't drop my book. I was here on time..." kakashi was begging on his knees but a moment later he witnessed his book being dropped into the water. "Nooooo!! That was the new one that just came out!" kakashi said. He immediately jumped in and swam after the book.

"It seems we are witnessing kakashi jumping in the water screaming 'ICHA ICHA!!' over and over again anyways back to you Michiyo" Yuffie finished.

"Wow Yuffie-san! What a weird site that was!" she said wiggling her fingers like as if something was creepy. "Sasu-kun is being a bad little boy...I should write Itachi about th-" Michiyo was cut off as Sasuke came running into the room and jumped on Michiyo, causing her to fall over, and making the sound of 'oomph!'.

Finally catching her breath, she yelled, "What the heck was that for Sasuke? Don't you know I'm on the Air right now...And how the hell did you get here so fast?" She questioned her cousin.

Suddenly, Naruto came running in and jumped on top of Sasuke who was still on Michiyo. This time two, 'oomph's!' were heard. "Na-Naruto! What are YOU doing now! Shouldn't the police be after you? And where did Sasuke go already?" Michiyo asked, about ready to scream. "Uhh...gotta go!" Naruto said running away.

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A/N: Well…If you managed to get through the first chapter, without thinking 'Lame...' Than cookies for you! It gets better, really…as our minds start to mature lol, well…sorta…Please Review!


	2. Commercial Hour

A/N: Hello again! Congrats for continuing to read this insanity! Well, here's the next chappie, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Same as first chapter, nothings changed…

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Chapter 2

Michiyo then got up, dusted herself off, and sat back down. "Sorry folks, we just had some...uh...technical difficulties. I guess the camera messed up or something..." she said and ended with a huff. "Okay. Now back to the story...darn it! I lost my papers..." she said smacking her head. "Hmm...Fine, back over to you then Yuffie-san." Michiyo said unhappily while placing her head on her hand.

"Riiiight...How about we get back to you after the break." the reporter said awkwardly.

The screen faded into commercial.

"We go from place to place, risks our lives to protect the village from destruction, we are the few, the proud, the ANBU." A man said wearing a long coat and mask.

The screen faded again.

"Are your forehead protectors getting scratched, then try this it gets rid of scratches like that," He poured an unknown liquid onto it.

" Amazing!" He remarked after watching the scratch disappear. " Call this number to get a free sample, 1-555-CALL-THIS, thats 1-555-CALL-THIS!"

The screen faded again.

"Eve' need a vacation? Really wan' some fun? Wan' to have some great food? 'N feel the win' through your hair? Well come on 'own this Saturday from 'oon till 5 pm for some great fun at the Town Square!" An overweight man whom was probably the owner said as if he really wasn't excited about this in the first place.

"We 'ot farm fresh food and fresh 'queezed juices! We got a bike race set up and a boat ride! Go 'own Konoha's river 'n see that 'are species and native animals! There will be 'ack races and picnics! Prizes for the best 'ostume will also be there! So be 'ure to come on 'own and enjoy ya self!" he then added extending his arm out behind him as different pictures of places and things to do showed up behind him.

The man began walking off set, not knowing the camera was still rolling. He mumbled a quick, "I hate this job..." and the screen slowly faded back to the set of the Konoha Action News Channel 9 studio.

"Welcome back, before we get to the story's lets take a look a the weather...hm...boring, cloudy, dull, and wet same as always. So this story happened last night at the hot springs, it seems that Jiraiya has been accused of spying on women while there naked. Jiraiya says its not true, he claims to have only been 'data gathering' for his new book coming out ' Icha Icha Paradise volume 23.' He was put in prison last night, and will have to 'data gather' there, so all of you icha icha lovers out there, if your a guy, I wouldn't recommend reading till he gets out of jail. Anyways, now to Michiyo." Yuffie said.

At the first mention of 'Icha', Michiyo had pulled out her very own copy and began to read. As Yuffie continued explaining on what the Toad-Sanin has done, a smirk laced upon her face. Soon, she began to giggle and then Yuffie got her out of her thoughts by smacking her really hard behind the head.

"Ouch! That really hurt!" Michiyo complained, rubbing the back of her head.

"Well that's your fault for not listening!" Yuffie yelled at her.

"Whatever." Michiyo ignored her friends complaints. She then began reading the book again.

A noise through her head piece caught her attention. "Excuse me ladies and gentleman, there seems to be some shocking news. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. How do you spell that? Mmhmm...right..okay. Thanks." Michiyo said listening into her ear piece. She turned back to the camera and smiled. "Well folks, the Station says if I don't do my job they will hunt down my sorry ass and fire me!" she said clapping her hands together happily.

Boom Boom

S.W.A.T. swings down on ropes and enters the studio. "Another breaking story, S.W.A.T. is breaking in and they said this News Studio has a bomb on it and it should go off shortly..." She said calmly, acting as if it was nothing.

"Wait a minute...i just received word that they can not find the bomb, and they think it will go off shortly." Yuffie said still calm.

"Where is it?"

"I don't know."

"In there!"

"Blue wire! Blue wire!"

"I thought it was red!" Thats all you could hear in the background. Yuffie glanced over to see Michiyo still reading her book.

slap

"How could you read at a time like this. This is a big story...huh...Oh sorry. Hi folks um...I just received word that they found the bomb and they stopped the timer. yay! soooo...back to you Michiyo."

"Uh..okay folks we're gonna have a quickie--i mean quick break." Michiyo said not paying attention.

Roughly about five minutes passed and only Yuffie was in the camera room. "Uh..where is Michiyo?" Yuffie asked concerned.

Suddenly, Michiyo swung in on a rope with disheveled clothing and a tie around her forehead screaming, 'OWAAAAAAH!' and landed on top of the table.

Yuffie jumped back a little surprised and then was kinda afraid her friend was crazy...or maybe just odd. Yeah that's it. Not sane at all.

Michyo jumped up and began performing some poor ninja moves and then tripped and fell off of the table. Yuffie kicked her to make her get up while going, 'Heh heh heh...' to the camera to make it seem less suspicious--which didn't help.

Michiyo jumped up into her seat and said, "Sorry viewers I was late...I um..." Michiyo trailed off.

Yuffie then again caught sight of her clothing all messy. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Well...Jiraiya released his new book and I just had to get it..I read half of it and got an idea when Kakashi showed up and --" Michiyo was cut off by Yuffie placing a hand over her co-worker's mouth.

"Spare me the details." Yuffie said uninterested.

"What...All we did was save a cat out of a tree...Why is she all worked up. Oh well..' Michiyo mumbled herself.

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A/N: Congrats for finishing this chapter! Now if you'd be so kind, please review!


	3. Mr Potato Head

A/N: Yay! Chapter 3! Cookies for everyone who made it this far!

Disclaimer: Still the same…nothings changed!

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Chapter 3

Straightening up and clearing her throat she said, "In other news today, a question pops up. 'What ever happened to Mr. Potato Head?" She asked the viewers and Yuffie in a serious yet questioning tone.

"Yes what ever did happen to Mr. Potato Head? He was last seen selling some cookies for boy scouts...well we have the full story of what happen...when he approached the door he said the usual 'cookies for sale!!' and lots of times doors were slammed in his face...but this time he was asked to come inside. He went inside and the unexpected happen. He was stabbed with a fork and put in the microwave for 20 minutes."

"-Questions began to pop in his mind like 'Is it getting hot in here?' and 'What happened to my cookies?' after 20 minutes had past he was put on a plate and split open only to see butter and sour cream being put on him. Before the owner of the house could take a bit... S.W.A.T. comes rushing in and sowed up Mr. Potato Head."

"-Wait a minute we have a word of who the person who tried to eat him was and we will bring Mr. Potato on the news to tell you himself..." the reporter finished.

"Sooo...Mr. Potato Head who did this to you?" she asked. "Oh it was...Naruto. He mistook me for potato flavored ramen."

"So your saying it was Naruto...well you have it here folks, Mr. Potato head almost died by being eaten, what a story, well back to you Michiyo." she said.

Michiyo heard a sudden, 'Beep Beep…' sound and looked down at her watch. 'Oh no!' she thought, 'I'm missing my favorite show!' she thought again. Thinking up a really good story to fool everyone she said "Sorry folks I have to use the bathroom." Michiyo said running out of the studio and didn't return for hours.

--

She was nestled on her couch in her pajamas in a whole bunch of pillows and blankets. The room was currently almost pitch black, exception for the TV, which wad currently playing a cartoon.

"Wow I really love The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy!' she said happily. 'Hope no one bursts in a ruins this.' she said out of no where. Suddenly a loud noise was heard from out side. 'Oh no...' Michiyo thought but it was too late because she heard Yuffie yell.

"The doors locked! Kick it in!" while she kicked it open and ran inside, quickly closing the door behind her. "Um...Why are you in my house, Yuffie?" Michiyo asked angrily.

"Uhh...cause." Yuffie said.

For some odd reason, she suddenly forgot her anger when a catchy tune started playing on the TV. Her head swung into that direction to notice a new commercial she hasn't seen before.

"Hello wonderful city of Konoha!" the voice said. Michiyo noticed the man was quite sexy...not that that mattered, right?

"Welcome to my new shop, 'Hatake Kakashi's Shinobi XXX Shop!'. Where tons and tons of porn and other such is located!" said the masked man again.

Michiyo, an enjoyer of yaoi, was excited. So she listened carefully. "We are open 24/7 so EVERYONE'S needs can be fulfilled! Right Iruka-san?" the man continued with, looking at a familiar man with duct tape over his mouth.

His voice was muffled, but it was obvious he had said, 'Help...me...', but Kakashi had ignored it and said, "Yes! I agree Iruka-san! Everyone should come and visit my new, wonderful-porn-filled-adult-content-X-rated-material of a shop!" he said then gave the number to the shop.

"Please call, 555-XXX-PWNZ! That's right, call 555-XXX-PWNZ!" he said cheerfully.

The commercial sadly ended. Michiyo, missing all of the XXX pictures that randomly popped up out of nowhere that drew closer to the screen, snapped her head around and looked at Yuffie with wide eyes.

"GIVE ME 5 MINUTES AND I WILL BE READY!" Michiyo yelled.

"Uhh...why..?" Yuffie asked confused.

"Because...we're going to go and visit Kakashi-san and his shop! That's why!" Michiyo said excitedly.

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A/N: Hurray! You made it through another one without bleeding through your eyes! Heres a cookie! please R&R!


	4. Tramatizing Moments

A/N: Well…Here's another chapter…The Disclaimer's still the same!

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Chapter 4

Three minutes later Michiyo and Yuffie were running out the door. Well at least Michiyo was dragging Yuffie, but same thing.

"Welcome to Hatake Kakashi's Shinobi XXX Shop!" A masked guy announced proudly.

"Cool! Let's go inside Yuffie!" Michiyo said dragging Yuffie inside.

They glanced over and saw Sasuke picking out rock and fish porn for his pets and he had Naruto on a leash.

"Ugh...Hey Sasuke." Yuffie said.

"Ummm...it's not what it looks like. It's for my pets I swear." Sasuke said.

"Oh you have pets...What are their names?" Michiyo asked.

"I have a fish named Jigglypuff, and rock named Rocky, and Naruto's name is Pikachu." Sasuke said.

"Pikachu? Naruto? What the hell? Umm we should be going..." Yuffie said.

Michiyo was so confused...why the heck was her under aged cousin at a porn shop! "Wait a moment, Yuffie. I have some questions to ask." she said glaring toward Sasuke's direction.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" she said pointing at Sasuke with a death glare. "Why is Naruto on a leash?" her pointing was changed to Naruto. "And why the heck did you name him, Pikachu! I mean...he has a name already!" she yelled throwing her hands up in exasperation. "And why the heck do you have rock and fish porn, Kakashi?" she said turning to Kakashi who was behind the counter.

She also noted that Iruka was still tied up back there...anyway back to the point! Kakashi just smirked at the confused Michiyo. "I said I had something for EVERYONES needs!" Kakashi told her using his hand to show her his whole shop.

With a content Michiyo, (currently looking through the yaoi section deciding what to buy), a Sasuke (trying to pick between, 'Boulders Gone Wild', and "Stony Beach'), Kakashi had disappeared back behind the curtains with Iruka. (Which Michiyo didn't notice this time.)

But Naruto really wasn't happy, Sasuke had him a damn leash again and kept calling him, 'Pichu! Pichu!' like he was some cute little fluffy animal...which yeah he had to agree, he was cute! But its not like he wanted Sasuke to call him cute, right? Naruto slapped his face. 'Don't think such stupid things!' he told himself.

While everyone else was currently busy, Yuffie decided she was going wait outside. She walked over to the door when suddenly Jiraiya popped out of nowhere in front of the door. "Excuse me sir. Sorry!" she apologized for stepping on his foot by accident.

"Can I use you in my 'data collecting'?" he asked her bluntly.

Yuffie pulled some super-awesome-total radical ninja moves on his old perverted butt (so he passed out) and was about to walk out the door again when Sakura and Ino showed up. 'Oh great...going to rob us again...with those...those...BANANA'S!' Yuffie screamed in her head annoyed.

"These aren't just bananas. They're rifle bananas..."she said, reading her mind. She pushed a button on the banana, and it turned into a rifle and shot Sasuke's rock.

"NOOOOO!! ROCKY!! HANG IN THERE BUDDY!! WE"RE GONNA MAKE IT OUT OF HERE!!" Sasuke cried.

All of the sudden Kakashi comes running out of the back in his socks and underwear screaming "ICHA ICHA!" Poor Iruka was still back there tied up not knowing what the heck was going on.

"EVERYBODY DOWN! Oh wait, this isn't the bank." Ino said. Then Sakura and Ino left and began to walk toward the bank. Five minutes later people could still hear Kakashi in the background screaming "ICHA ICHA!" But no one was paying attention, and they just got what they came for and left.

"Nooooo!" Sasuke yelled rushing over to Rocky. Michiyo and Yuffie also ran over to him and so did Pikac--I mean Naruto.

"Someone call 911!" Sasuke yelled and Michiyo ran behind the counter to find the phone (because Yuffie was afraid there would be some porn back there) and dialed 911.

About 2 hours later Sasuke, Jigglypuff, Pikachu, Yuffie, Michiyo, Kakashi, a passed out Jiraiya and a tied up Iruka sat outside of an hospital room. Finally a nurse showed up. Sasuke looked up at her with sad eyes and expression on his face. Then the nurse began to speak.

"Well...Rocky was in very critical condition." and everyone gasped at her words, well some of the people. "He was shot." she said looking at her clipboard. "Nine times." she then continued with. "He lost a lot of bloo-uh…dirt" She corrected herself and continued.

"-and we thought he wouldn't make it, but suddenly the magical power of love and kindness and good things all that kind of shit appeared and helped him. He will be fine." she said.

Everyone was shocked. Suddenly Lee appeared and he and Sasuke hugged each other. Naruto looked a little jealous and Yuffie and Michiyo stared at her cousin hugging some kid with bug eyebrows.

"I knew it!" Lee shouted. "The power of youth and love had saved the sexy Rocky!" he yelled.

Suddenly Sasuke broke from Lee. "Wait a second...how the hell did you know about Rocky?" he questioned Lee.

"Umm...I don't have a camera located in a porn shop." Lee stuttered while backing away. Kakashi got angry and kicked his ass and all was well.

Sasuke was currently visiting Rocky, who was hooked up to an IV. "Oh Rocky...it's all my fault!" Sasuke cried. "I should have gotten both porn magazines for you!" he cried wishing his Rocky wasn't unconscious.

"Rocky...remember the time when I first got you. Man you were a mess. I had to pick you up out of my yard and wash you off." Sasuke said, while crying.

Yuffie and Michiyo walked in. "Sasuke the nurse said he would be fine don't worry." Yuffie said. "I know. I...I just need a minute alone." Sasuke said.

Suddenly the news studio crashes through the hospital windows and demand to take away Yuffie and Michiyo. "You're coming back with us. Because you left, we began to lose ratings. Your punishment for leaving is..." the guy said with a very serious look on his face. "-lets just say you will never go home again." the guy said then shot Yuffie and Michiyo with tranquilizers then took them away to the news studio.

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A/N: Reviews are appreciated!


	5. Held Hostage

A/N: Another Chapter! And more cookies for people that continue to read this!

Disclaimer: Don't Own...

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Chapter 5

Michiyo and Yuffie woke in a small bright room. They both realized that they were wearing straight jackets, and there was a camera in the corner of the room with a TV by it. The TV turned on.

"Hello Michiyo and Yuffie...This is your punishment for leaving us with low ratings." The guy said. He was wearing an ANBU mask.

Michiyo and Yuffie were scared. Then an odd thought came to mind and she began to cry. "What is it Michiyo?" Yuffie asked concerned. "I just realized I've never been laid...I'm going to miss future yaoi books...and I have a cake in the oven...oh and I'll miss out of other stuff too...WAAAAH! I hope Vulpix and Squirtle get the cake out...WAAAH!" Michiyo cried.

'What a weirdo.' Yuffie thought.

Then Michiyo suddenly remembered her thought. "Y-you...aren't the Jigsaw are you?" she asked the man on the TV.

"Uh…What?" he asked her in return. "You know...have you ever seen that movie...Saw...and Saw II? Where you think you take our life for granted and make us do some crazy thing if we really want to live...and blah blah…." Michiyo carried on.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he said.

"Yeah...that's a movie you dumb-ass!" Yuffie yelled at Michiyo.

"Well. Sorry I was thinking for once--" she was interrupted by crying.

"What's that?" they both asked, looking at the screen.

"That's just...never mind yeah." the man said.

Yuffie squinted her eyes. "Who are you people?!" she asked like a crazy person.

"I am...DEIDARA...yeah. And this is Tobi, My sidekick yeah." said the man.

Michiyo and Yuffie looked at each other confused. Suddenly Sasuke broke through the window -unsure of how it got there- and was trying to rescue them.

"Arf. Arf. I am a Fox Demon. Hear me roar. Grr. I am Pikachu. Grr. Grr." said Naruto not really caring what was going on.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Sasuke said diving towards the girls.

Sasuke then looked towards the screen. "Ha! I knew it!" Sasuke yelled triumphantly. "I knew it was you -- Team Rocket!" Sasuke said making the V-sigh. "I will battle you for my cousin and her friend!" he yelled. "GO PIKACHU!" Sasuke yelled. Naruto did nothing. Forgetting already that he was in battle, Sasuke squinted at the screen.

"And where is Meowth?" he asked confused.

'Who the heck is Meowth, yeah?' Deidara asked himself. "Oh no!" he suddenly cried out, after smelling the air oddly on the screen. "My casserole is in the oven!" he said suddenly running back out. "NOOO! My caaaake!" Michiyo cried out.

Michiyo then looked over and spotted a saw laying on the ground. She knew she had to save her cake and there was only one way to save it.

- Chop Chop-

"Owwww" Michiyo screamed as she cut off her leg.

"Umm...Michiyo." Yuffie said.

"Wha...I'm busy." Michiyo said as she then finished chopping off her leg.

" Wrong leg. Your other leg is the one that is tied up." yuffie told her.

"Awww...man...I gotta chop of this one to." Michiyo said. Before she started to chop the other one off she fainted from to much blood lost.

Good thing Sakura was there, she picked up her leg and re-attached it. "Good as new" Sakura said then ran away screaming "Ino….Don't you dare take all of the money!"

After about 15 minutes Michiyo woke up. "Um….I don't think I'm in Konoha anymore." she said concerned.

"Duh of course you are!" Yuffie said angrily. Michiyo began to ponder on how she could get out.

IDEA! 'Oh if only I had my wand with me.' Michiyo thought to herself. Sasuke appeared through the window again with Naruto.

"Well guys. I don't think my Pikachu is a Pikachu because when I ask him to do thunder he uses a fire attack...so I think he may be a Charmander!" Sasuke said in one breath. "Oh and for some reason this stick was in my casserole." he said throwing Michiyo's wand at her.

"HAHA! VICTORY!" Michiyo said jumping up and doing a very bad victory dance. 'Okay here it goes...' she said and then preformed her spell. "LOOPIS POOPIS!" she said pointing at the screen. The spell bounced off and affected Sasuke instead. He pooped his pants.

'Hm...That didn't work! Next one then...' Michiyo said and said he next spell, "FREEIS PEEIS!" on the monitor. This time it worked because suddenly Deidara jumped up and ran away screaming something about his meatloaf overcooking.

"Dude, I'm getting sick of this channel, do you think there's anything else on TV?" Yuffie said, and then she picked up a remote she found laying on the ground. click click

"Wait, Yuffie, stop I like this commercial. It seems different." Michiyo said as Kakashi's new commercial for is shop came on.

"Hello, I'm Hatake Kakashi and this is my new shop, Here we have all types of books to satisfy everyone's needs, isn't that right Gai." Kakashi said. Gai was hanging upside down with a rope tied around is ankle.

"mm m m m" gai said. He was actually saying." Why did Iruka quit. Now I want to quit. Someone help me!!"

Kakashi knew what he was saying and just ignored him like he did Iruka. "That's right Gai, so come on down." Kakashi said and that was the end of the commercial.

About 7 hours passed...Sasuke kept popping bothering us about dumb things. So Michiyo ended up doing 'Loopis Poopis' on him so he would try to get the message and go away...guess not. Sakura and Ino tried to rob us again...until they found out this wasn't a bank again. Deidara never came back and Tobi just stood in the shadows watching TV with us.

"Ahahaha...I have no idea what this show is about but its funny!" Yuffie said laughing.

"Hey! I think South Park is on!" Michiyo said happily and she selected the Comedy Central channel.

"Oh my! Eww...What? What the heck? What are they doing?" Michiyo looked over to Yuffie confused.

"It looks like they're making jokes about. And...Eww..." Yuffie said.

The suddenly something really funny happened and they laughed and laughed until Sasuke came back asking if they wanted to pet Pikachu...

"Hey sasuke, how's rocky doing?" Yuffie asked. Sasuke didn't say anything, he just started to cry.

"Umm, Sasuke...didn't they say rocky would live? Why are you crying?" Michiyo asked.

"O, it's...it's just...rocky can't work out with me...EVERY AGAIN!!" Sasuke said.

And so the tears cam bursting out and Narut- I mean Pikachu decided it was a good opportunity to escape. "Damn, no doors to get out, well then, I'll just have to use thunder. PIKACHU!! Why isn't it working? PIKACHU!! Aw damn, I'm stuck here." Naruto said while punching the walls trying to find an escape.

"JIGGLY PUFF..JIGGLY...EEE..PUFF!!" someone was singing and soon everyone fell asleep. 5 hrs past and everyone woke up with stuff drawn all other there faces.

"Jigglypuff!! NOT AGAIN!!" sasuke yelled.

Michiyo and Yuffie looked at each other as they woke up. "Was I drinking..?" Michiyo asked aloud.

"No I don't think so. And why do you have shit written all over your face?" Yuffie said.

"Well you have it too!" Michiyo pouted. "Anyway, Jigglypuff is a fish. How the heck can it sing and draw on us?" she looked over at Sasuke.

"Duh...I had her get lessons!" Sasuke said as if she has just asked the dumbest question.

She was about to speak again when Kakashi, a tied up Iruka on his back, Jiraiya and a tied on Gai on his back jumped through the window. "We are here to save you!" Kakashi yelled. Iruka and Gai you couldn't understand and Jiraiya asked if there was a female bathing place near by.

Sadly, no, there wasn't. How horrible and tragic it was.

Suddenly Kakashi pulled out a walkie-talkie and a whole bunch of S.W.A.T. came from the window and ceiling...

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A/N: Ha! Cliffy! Lol …well, sorta…If any of you have actually read this much! Well Please Review!


	6. 9 times!

A/N: Ahem…managed to get this far, eh? Congrats! Here some more cookies! And enjoy (well as best as you can…lol) the chapter!

Disclaimer: Still the same, don't own Naruto, just the OC's.

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Chapter 6

"Were in position" The S.W.A.T. leader said over the radio.

"Understood, Execute plan Z" kakashi ordered.

Jiraiya was so bored so he decided to leave and go look for a hot spring, so he can do he's 'data gathering' . Kakashi let him go since he needed more new series of books in Icha Icha Paradise.

Iruka tried to escape many _many_ times, but kakashi took a kunai every time and stabbed him right in the leg to stop him from running away.

"Ugh...Kakashi...What's plan Z?" Yuffie asked. Kakashi put his walkie-talkie away, quickly into one of his pockets.

"Umm...I really have no idea. I just said something. Hopefully it's nothing to serious." kakashi said cheerfully.

Then, as if right on cue, the S.W.A.T. pulled an atomic bomb out of there S.W.A.T. truck and began to start the timer.

Kakashi noticed this and cried, "NOOOO!! NO PLAN Z!!" to the team.

"But you said execute plan Z" The S.W.A.T. leader yelled back, through his radio.

Kakashi got out his Radio from his pocket, and looked at the guy. He was standing right in front of him! He didn't need to use this…Kakashi decided to not say anything, and just shake his head."No plan Z, I changed my mind. Um, why don't you guys execute plan A instead?" kakashi said, but more as a question, because he really had no idea what any of the 'plans' were.

Plan A wasn't any better.

This time it was 8 atomic bombs. Why, oh why, would the S.W.A.T. team come up with that anyway? Kakashi couldn't stop them in time so Pikachu and Jigglypuff started randomly doing Rasengans and singing.

This only made things worse.

Finally, Michiyo and Yuffie found their chance and they ran out of a giant hole in the wall. Then one of those action scene things happened and they ran in slow motion and jumped at the right moment as the bombs went off. Apparently they mislabeled the bombs, because they were just fireworks and no body was hurt. Except for Gai, He fell asleep and got some very very bad burns.

Iruka and Gai were taken to the hospital. Everyone waited outside and the same nurse as before came out holding a clipboard. "Iruka was stabbed." she stated. Everyone already knew this...she then looked at her clipboard. "He was stabbed nine times." she continued dramatically.

"-And Gai. He was also...I'm not sure how to break this to you...but he was burned." she said as she looked at her clipboard. "He was burned in 9 different places and will never have children again." the nurse said, hoping no one would take the news too hard.

Everyone was glad that Iruka was okay and that Gai wouldn't be having children

The nurse looked at her clipboard again this time flipping to the next page." O and your other friend sasuke...was lifting weights...9 times...and there was a accident...he was squashed by the weights...9 times." the nurse said.

"OMG...My cousin...where is he?" Michiyo asked the nurse as she looked at her clipboard again.

" O he went home...9 days ago." The nurse said.

"You didn't have to tell us that if he went home 9 days ago." Michiyo said.

Then ANBU came crashing in the windows demanding that Michiyo and Yuffie must do there jobs.

-Sometime later at the News Studio-

"Today we are going to watch this guy yell 'HELP US' and also say 'WERE BEING FORCED TO DO THIS!' and anyways 'HELP US' back to you Michiyo." Yuffie said, faking a smile and trying to fix her papers on the desk.

After about 3 weeks of being stuck in the studio without eating, sleeping, using the toilet or even bathing; our hero's were still trapped. Yuffie was laying on the table saying, "Feed me...Feed me..." over and over again. Michiyo was putting on a whole bunch of perfume she stole because the studio smelled...bad. After the News at 10, Michiyo nudged Yuffie.

"Yes, what is it?" Yuffie asked her. "I...have an idea to get out of here!" she said in a whisper.

"Okay, how?" Yuffie asked, and talked in a whisper too.

"I have something in my pocket that may get us out of here." Michiyo said. Yuffie looked behind Michiyo and didn't see anything in her pocket.

"What do you mean?" Yuffie asked after looking.

Michiyo looked around to see if anyone was listening while shifting her eyes. "I have...a bomb in my pocket." she whispered.

"Huh? How the heck did you get it and how can it fit in your pocket?" Yuffie asked, confused. Also thinking 'Where the heck did she get a bomb?'.

"I had...Lee make a cake with an atomic bomb it. And I mean, come on! We can jump tree to tree, use chakra to perform 'Jutsu's', and a rock survived being shot 9 times!" Michiyo said in a yelled whisper.

"Right good point!" Yuffie said, nodding.

"Okay...the plan is to blow it up at midnight. Sasuke, Pikachu and Rocky will pick us up in a get-a-way car and take use to a hideout in which we will stay there for 3 weeks so the cost can be clear." she whispered into Yuffie's ear.

As soon as midnight hit, they blew a giant hole in the wall and Michiyo yelled into a walkie talkie, "The pie is done and the bird left the nest, I repeat, the pie is done and the bird has left the nest." Soon a giant van came speeding up and Rocky was driving while Sakura and Ino helped by using their banana guns. They ran up to the door and before they knew it, they were pulled inside by Sasuke and Naruto and riding off.

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A/N: Well thats another one! R&R! Please!


	7. Pure Torture

A/N: Well, Hello again! I'm surprised you guys got this far! There's still more to come, if you really like this story that much…lol I doubt it…well, Review and maybe we'd know or not if you like it or not…its just a thought. Right, moving on…

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, or any of the songs/lyrics that are used in this chapter. Just own the stupid plot and OC's.

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Chapter 7

It started out with them arriving at an ally. While they got closer and closer to the door they were going in they started to hear...singing. Horrible singing, it was off key on every single word. Almost sounding like a dying animal, that wanted to die.

"Umm...is that Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, recognizing the voice.

"How could you tell? All I hear is a dying animal!" Yuffie yelled as she had her ears covered. They opened the door and they couldn't believe what they saw.

Kakashi was dancing on a pole singing, "LOOOOOVING YOOOOU, IS EAAAASY CUUUZ YOUR BEAUTIFUL!!LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA OWAAAAAH!!" to the one and only poor soul that was in the room against his will, Iruka.

Everyone immediately covered there ears from the horrible singing, well except for Yuffie since he already had them covered. "KAKASHI STOP IM BEGGING YOU!! I'VE BEEN SITTING HER FOR 6 HOURS LISTENING TO THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!" Iruka cried while his ears were bleeding. There was a huge puddle of blood on the floor.

Michiyo and Yuffie ran over to Iruka concerned. "Iruka-san! Iruka-san!" they cried in unison, concerned for the sensei.

"Kakashi! How could you?" Yuffie said yelling at Kakashi. He was still dancing on the pole. Michiyo hit the CD-player in frustration and it started playing another song. Kakashi stopped singing and dancing and fell on the floor, panting. "Th-Thank…You….I couldn't... stop be-because it kept playing again and a-again." Kakashi said covered in sweat (not that that was a bad thing...right?) and out of breath.

"Wait! You mean you have been dancing for hours because the CD-player was playing on loops!" Yuffie said aloud, she couldn't believe it!

"Y-Yes." Kakashi said still panting.

Michiyo pointed at Iruka, "Uh…Maybe he should go to the hospital." Michiyo pointed out. She knew her and Yuffie couldn't take him, and Sasuke and Rocky were somewhat ignored. And well, Naruto ran into the kitchen for some ramen because Sasuke has been forgetting to feed him.

So our dear Kakashi had to take Iruka. They arrived to the hospital, (been going there a lot lately, eh?!) and that darn nurse was there still. "I'm sorry but...he was bleeding inside oh his ears." she said. Then looking at her clipboard she took a deep breath before continuing.

'Oh no hear it comes...' Kakashi said, groaning inwardly.

"He...bled nine times." she said to Kakashi.

"HOW THE HELL COULD HE BLEED 9 TIMES!" he yelled at her. "I DEMAND TO SEE THE DOCTOR!" he yelled again.

"Here I am!" the doctor appeared next to Kakashi.

"I want some answers!" he told the doctor, "Why does she always say stuff happens '9 times'...'9 TIMES'...'9 TIMES!'. And you better answer me or fear a Chidori through your stomach!" he yelled, both of his fists clenched.

"Well you see, our nurse has an impulsive disorder where she likes to say things like times." the doctor simply put.

"Uh...No. She says everything once and always uses the word 9!" Kakashi said somewhat confused.

"Well, most of the time it is true...except for this time. Iruka really didn't bleed 9 times..." the doctor said.

"That doesn't answer my question!" Kakashi was about to hit the doctor with Chidori but the doctor suddenly had shifty eyes and ran away.

As the doctor ran away he yelled, "MOMMY!!" and wasn't looking where he was going and ran into the wall...9 times.

"Can we go home now, I'm hungry." Yuffie asked. I guess Michiyo and Yuffie decided to ditch what they had to do and come anyway at the last second. They were worried about Iruka. Kakashi went back to his old self and pulled out an Icha Icha book.

"Well, I'm going back to my shop. Coming, Iruka?" Kakashi said more than asked, while pulling out a chain and dragging Iruka.

You could hear poor Iruka yelling. "HELP ME!!" and kakashi quickly stabbed him in the leg to make him shut up.

"Aw man we gotta go back to the hospital now, look what u did Iruka, you made me do this." Kakashi said while dragging him back to the emergency room.

Poor, poor Iruka. He had to get these gigantic, ugly looking hearing-aids that made him look like he was part robot. Well, in Sasuke's opinion he did. Iruka also had his leg bandaged up from...the uh, 'incident'. Everyone was back to Kakashi's shop and everyone was partying. Okay maybe not everyone.

Michiyo found some yaoi books, Rocky was playing video games with Jigglypuff, Naruto was having a fight with Sasuke against the color of Naruto's new name tag, Iruka was sleeping on a couch that appeared in the back of the shop, and Yuffie was holding one of Michiyo's cats...that she stole. So, only Kakashi...was having a party.

"Let's do karaoke!" Kakashi yelled. No one said a thing.

"TONIGHT! I'LL BE YOUR NAUGHTY GIRL, I'M GONNA CALL ALL MY GIRLS!" Kakashi sang.

Everyone looked up at Kakashi, wide eyes at the choice of the song.

"YOU'RE SOOOO SEXY, TONIGHT I AM ALLL YOURS BOOOY!" Kakashi began to sing and dance on the pole. "THE WAY YOUR BODY MOVES ACROSS THE FLOOR!" he continued dancing. "YOU GOT ME FEEEELIN N-A-S-T-Y!" he continued singing.

Everyone could only stare with their mouths open.

"I MIGHT JUST TAAAAKE YOU HOOOME WITH MEEEE!" Kakashi said sliding down the pole.

Michiyo, Iruka and Yuffie got a nosebleed and ran away, well only Iruka could hop.

As iruka, Michiyo, and Yuffie ran down a dead end street in the middle of the night, a van that looks mysteriously like Kakashi's, pulls up. They opened the van door exposing a pole to the side, lime green fuzzy carpet, a couch in the back and 4 guys in black masks, one dancing on the pole, one driving, one in the passenger seat, and one pulling Yuffie, Michiyo, and a distressed 'IT NEVER ENDS!' Iruka in the van.

"OMG! Ga-Gang raping people! Man, if we were at the studio right now, this would be a great story." Yuffie said before being tied, gagged, and thrown on the couch. Michiyo was next to be tied, and gagged.

"Please...just don't have Gai, Jiraiya or Asuma touch me...they're gross..." Michiyo pleaded. They all looked confused and felt for their mask to see if it was on. After ten minutes of checking they finally asked the question.

"How'd you know it was us?" The one dancing on the pole with spiky hair asked.

"Well, Asuma, who's driving over there, is smoking a cigarette and he's wearing his weapons on his hand. Gai who's in the passenger seat has bushy eyebrows, plus he's wearing spandex. Jiraiya's spiky hair is sticking out, plus he keeps saying pervert stuff, AND kakashi is eyeing Iruka and plus he doesn't even have a mask on, since he's wearing one already, and what's left to hide on his face." Michiyo stated then Jiraiya gagged her and started to gagged Iruka, he didn't need to tie him up since he was already.

Sitting for 9 hours watching the men dancing was rough for the gagged trio. Asuma couldn't dance long because of his lungs and he was taking breaks to smoke. Jiraiya claimed he was too old to dance and Gai complained his good looks were enough, he had no need to dance. That's when it all started.

"So, are you too cha-cha-chicken to dance, Gai?" Kakashi taunted his so called 'rival'. Suddenly Gai's eyebrows burst into flames and the dancing challenge was started. Another pole came form the vans floor and they each took there places. Jiraiya counted down 3 to 1 and started the music.

"Great...it's Justin Timberlake." the gagged trio all thought at once. Everyone didn't really pay attention to Gai's dancing on the pole, they were afraid of their eyeballs bursting into flames.

An hour went by and Yuffie, Michiyo and Iruka were all starting to get a headache from Justin's song 'Sexy back'.

_Come here girl, go head be gone with it  
Come to the back, go head be gone with it  
VIP, drinks on me  
Lemme see what you're twerking with  
Look at those hips  
Make me smile  
_  
Yuffie began to bang her head on a nearby window, repeatedly saying in her head. /Oh god, make it stop. If I hear go head be gone one more time./

Iruka began to cry. With a sigh of relief a new song came on.  
_  
Cry me a river. ol'  
Cry me a river. _

That song repeated for the next 2 hours. Yuffie, Michiyo and Iruka started to cry all of them saying in their heads this time /STOP!/

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A/N: Well, that's another one! Please Review!


	8. Top Story: Sakura Revealed!

A/N: Hello again! Here's another crazy chapter…Hopefully the story is actually starting to make sense…a little…if possible…not that it even has a point to it….-whistles- I didn't say anything! Anyway…We still don't own Naruto…big surprise there right? Well, here's the chapter! Enjoy!

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Chapter 8

About 9 songs later, Sasuke and Naruto finally showed up. Sasuke had burst through the window shouting, "Bwuahaha...The Great Uchiha Sasuke is here! The Badass! The Aveng-!" he got cut off by Michiyo kicking him in the shin so he would hurry up and rescue them.

"Okay, Rocky, you stop Gai from dancing, Jigglypuff you untie everyone and Pikachu you stop the music." Sasuke said.

"What are you going to do, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Stand here and look cool, of course!" Rocky somehow jumped on Gai and was biting him. Jigglypuff just sat in her fish tank while Naruto walked over to Jiraiya and give him a 20 dollar bill if he would turn off the music for him. Then he waited for Sasuke to stop strutting around the van.

He finally got the idea and untied Yuffie, Michiyo and Iruka. Everyone got really bored and decided to leave. Gai was still being attacked by Rocky, while Sasuke was strutting his stuff on the fuzzy carpet. Asuma was still driving not knowing that most of the people that were in the van have already jumped out of the window, and he too had soon later fallen asleep...driving...smoking...and holding weapons.

"In local news today…." Yuffie started her top story this evening. "A bearded man died this morning. He was smoking and holding weapons while driving and fell asleep." She paused for dramatic effect. "Thankfully Sasuke and Rocky survived, but sadly Gai is alright." An aggravated tone was in her voice. "Over to you, Michiyo." she finished, and then she started straitening up her papers on her desk.

"Okay, we also caught this, ourselves, earlier today." Michiyo boasted. "Ladies and Gentleman...Yuffie and I caught Sakura buying hair dye!" she said trying to sound dramatic. "That's right! It's not naturally pink!" Michiyo yelled.

"Yeah, she's fake! Like a Barbie!" Yuffie yelled.

"I AM NOT A FAKE!" Someone yelled from the back of the studio. Soon walls were exploding from a pink haired girl punching them.

"These just in, were going to get our butts kicked. Ugh, you go talk to her Michiyo, I'll record everything you do." Yuffie stated then pulled out a pen and a paper.

"What are you nuts, she'll kill me. You go first, and I'll record for future references." Michiyo quickly took the pen and paper, and pushed yuffie towards the angry Sakura. Yuffie approached with caution, trying to think the best thing to say.

"Ugh, I'm...Sorry!" She cried, and then quickly went to the floor curling up, than starting to pray. Sakura, surprisingly calmed down, than the raged came back when she saw Michiyo reading a book and bolted after Michiyo.

"HOW...HAW DARE YOU BE LITERATE!" Sakura yelled in furry. Michiyo's eyes peered up to Sakura confused. Her eyebrow raised in questioning attire.

"Grr..." Sakura growled. Then she began to sob. "I'm...illiterate." Soon she began to cry loudly and Michiyo began to feel guilty.

Peering over the counter to still see Yuffie in a fetal position, Michiyo tried to comfort Sakura by patting her back, but was quickly grabbed and thrown against a wall. Michiyo fell to the ground and moaned in pain.

"YOU THINK THAT WILL HELP ME READ MY LITTLE PONY?" Sakura yelled. "And sorry, my ninja skills got ahead of me." she said nonchalantly.

"B-but...you aren't a r-real ninja..." Michiyo gasped out. Sakura's eyebrows twitched and kicked Michiyo in the stomach causing her to cough up blood.

Yuffie began to snicker and Sakura was now about to break with anger. "You think it's funny! Huh? I bet you aren't a ninja either, you...you...REPORTER!" Sakura ground out.

Yuffie was actually laughing because of the joke the camera man just told her. She didn't pay attention to what Sakura had said, and answered with, "Yes...?" Sakura's face became red and pulled out a pineapple.

Everyone stared blankly at her.

"It's...A BOMB!" Sakura shouted.

--

Kakashi and Iruka were watching T.V. they tuned into the news to see what tomorrows weather would be. He heard from someone it might rain tonight, and he remembered that he 'accidently' left his books outside.

He had to be sure just in case, if it was going to rain, he would make Iruka run to the shop and put all of the books inside. He threatened him to make sure he wouldn't run away. Iruka's face paled as he heard Sakura shouting on the news station.

"It's...A BOMB!"

"Oh my god…" Kakashi exclaimed with wide eyes then decided to do something so he pulled out his radio. "S.W.A.T. come in, this is naughty bird." He said over the radio.

"We read you loud and clear, naughty bird, what's the situation?" They replied, kakashi could've sworn he heard giggling in the back when the leader said 'naughty bird' .He didn't pay attention to it though.

"There's a Bomb in the news studio, can you guys handle that situation?" He asked. He heard a sigh over the radio.

"Ahem, naughty bird, last time you told us there was a bomb in the news studio, it was a false alarm, we had to tell the media we stopped it, we gotta reputation, ya know?" He replied.

"But this time its for real, just turn on the news station, you'll see Sakura-Chan, holding a bomb in the air." He heard a sigh in the background, and he turned to see Iruka pointing at the TV.

"Today's weather is cloudy, with a slight chance of rain, humidity is 72, temperature is -12 degrees."

"Oh my god, the rigged the TV. Damn, now S.W.A.T will never believe us. No, it's going to rain, Iruka quick run to the store and put them all away. THERE GONNA GET WET. TO THE VAN!!" Kakashi yelled as he grabbed his radio and slid down a pole that was hidden behind a bookshelf.

Kakashi sat in his van waiting for Iruka to pick up his books out of the rain. He huffed in annoyance and pulled out the walkie talkie.

"Naughty Bird to Mother Hen. I repeat, Naughty Bird to Mother Hen. Are you finished yet? I want to give you...a foot rub." Kakashi said into the device.

"Hel-Help me..." was only heard then static. Kakashi jumped out of the vans window and yelled, "ILL SAVE YOU MOTHER HEN!" and broke through his own stores window to find...

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Next Episode! Will Kakashi save Iruka? Will anyone help the poor reporters? And just why are Lee's eyebrows so big? Find out next week! R&R!


	9. Transformation

A/N: Hello again

A/N: Hello again! If you managed to get this far…That's just…wow…amazing lol Free Cookies for you all! Anyway here's another chapter! It never ends! Lol, well let me remind you that we (Michiyo and I) wrote this story when we were younger, and extremely…I mean EXTREMELY bored!

Disclaimer: OMG, OMG, OMG…GUESS WHAT! Don't own it!

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Chapter 9

Hello viewers! Our special guest of this week is...

Rocky!

They somehow...shake hands with each other.

Last episode...

"It's...A BOMB!"

"Humidity is 72..."

"Hel-Help me..."

And…

"I'LL SAVE YOU MOTHER HEN!"

Tonight's episode: Kakashi jumped through his own store window. He found...Iruka being molested by Gai and the ghost of Asuma!

"NOOO! ONLY I CAN MOLEST HIM!" Kakashi was outraged. Pulling out an AK-27 he shot Gai-sensei 9 times and called the Ghost Busters to get rid of Asuma. Kakashi ran over to Iruka and hugged him.

"Are you okay, Mother Hen?" the he realized it was actually Shikamaru and Iruka was tied up again a few feet away.

He was probably the next victim. Some soppy, cheesy romantic music played as Kakashi ran in slow motion over to Iruka, in which he tripped on the dead body of Gai and fell on top of Iruka, in which he fell unconscious. Kakashi sighed angrily.

"Great, now I have to carry him." Kakashi frowned. "And he'll have to get the foot massage when he isn't awake." Shikamaru just sat there. Stunned and dazed. His dead sensei and some freak in green spandex with giant eyebrows were attempting to molest him.

Iruka finally came back to the living world. Sitting up and rubbing his head he looked over to Kakashi and asked, "Are the girls okay?"

"I'm getting Sasuke and Naruto to do it." Kakashi replied switching through the TV channels. Iruka could only shake his head and burry them in his hands.

Meanwhile, back at the TV station...

Sasuke had just jumped through the window in a Superman costume shouting about how his sexy self would save the day. Poor Naruto had on a Wonder dog costume and was being pulled on a leash. Slicing the bomb with his kunai, he made wonderful fruit salad in which everyone happily ate. After Michiyo's last mouthful of the food, she turned to her friend Yuffie.

"Yuuuuuuuuuffie…. I'm bored." she told her. Yuffie looked over and stared blankly at her. Suddenly Michiyo's eyes shone brightly.

"Hey! I have an idea!" She yelled grabbing Yuffie by the arm at pulling her out of the building. Actually she more like dragged her by the leg.

Yuffie had kicked and screamed and finally asked, "What are we doing?"

"Going to a Rave!" Michiyo yelled happily.

"Uh...don't those only go on at nights?" Yuffie asked confused. Michiyo's eyes shifted back and forth and replied,

"Oh yeah…"

After 9 hours of playing videos game the duo dressed crazily and headed to the Rave. Before even entering they could hear the loud beat of the music. Upon entering they saw many lights, people, and a robot. Michiyo sat there for a moment. That robot looked familiar...

Suddenly her mouth dropped as she realized who it was. Gir! Forcefully pulling Yuffie along (again) they walked over to the dog robot and began to dance, poorly.

They slowing backed away as they saw what the robot dog was doing. He finished doing the moon walk and went over to the bar. Iruka was sitting on a bar stool complaining that he just found out something dramatic. Yuffie and Michiyo ran over to find out what was wrong.

"I'm…..A dolphin! I can't believe Kakashi hid that from me… that's why no one ever lets me go swimming." Iruka said than started to cry. Unfortunately, no one heard him, or they just seemed to ignore him. Either way, no one was there to comfort him.

The robot dog was sitting right next to him and 'accidentally' got sprayed by Iruka's tears, making the robot malfunction and die. "OMG, YOU KILLED KENN- I MEAN ROBOT DOG!" Yuffie screamed.

"Hey Iruka, do you get fins when the full moon light hits your skin?" Michiyo asked curiously.

Iruka looked at her, someone heard what he said! The tears seemed to disappear as he pondered what she asked. "Ummm, I never really thought about that, hey, tonight's a full moon, let's go outside and check." They went outside, Iruka was the last to come out because he suddenly got scared he might need water if he transforms.

As everyone sat outside waiting for Iruka to come outside, suddenly Gir popped through the ground, pink and brown sticky stuff emitting from its mouth.

"AHHHH!" Yuffie and Michiyo screamed as it crawled from the ground.

"I-Is it a zombie?" Yuffie asked backing away in fright.

Michiyo stepped closer. She grabbed the robot and held it up, looking at it curiously. "It didn't die. It just was pretending or something." Michiyo said tossing it to the ground and waiting for Iruka to show up. Yuffie still wondered what the pink and brown stuff was, so she asked.

"Its uh...a chocolate and bubblegum slushy." Michiyo guessed, slightly disgusted.

Kakashi showed up with a camera and smirked at Yuffie and Michiyo. He wanted a picture of Iruka in dolphin form. Iruka walked out and grasped his stomach in pain. Yuffie gasped, Gir took a sip of his slushy, well tried to. Kakashi held up his camera and Michiyo ran over to Iruka.

"Oh my gosh! Iruka-san! Do you need a tampon? You're having stomach cramps right?" Michiyo asked the sensei concerned.

Kakashi walked over and asked Iruka a serious question. "Do you want me to perform the thousand years of pain jutsu to stop it?" Iruka's eyes widened.

"I Don't NEED your HELP!! I just...IM A DOLPHIN!!" Iruka started to freak out.

"Your point?" Yuffie asked.

"Oh, Your a dolphin how nice to know, for your information, I'm a scarecrow, and I hate those damn crows that peck at me in corn fields, trust me, your lucky." Kakashi said than pulled out his camera.

"All my name means is hope, and courage...OMG, I'm going to transform into a word..." Yuffie said than started freaking out also as she watched Iruka starting to transform and grow fins. Soon he was begging for water and Kakashi was teasing him and wouldn't give it to him. Yuffie and Michiyo couldn't watch anymore and made Kakashi give him the water by threatening him that they would burn his XXX shop.

Later that day, Michiyo and Yuffie were about to head to work when Kakashi 'poof'ed' next to them. Both girls looked at his sexy masked face and waited for him to talk.

Five minutes passed while he continued to read and finally looked up.

"Yeah...you guys sucked ass as ninjas so we are sending you back to the academy." Kakashi said then looked back to his book and began to walk away.

Michiyo's mouth dropped and Yuffie gasped out, "What!" Anger and confusion began to flare in their eyes and they ran and tackled Kakashi.

Michiyo had Kakashi in a head lock while Yuffie slapped him across the face and demanded some answers. Kakashi didn't understand or know what they needed answered and used a replacement jutsu. Confused, the duo walked away without any questions toward the academy.

Michiyo and Yuffie took their seats with some fat smelly kid taking the third seat.

"This just in!" Michiyo said to Yuffie. "I may be stuck in these little kid seats. I can't feel my legs." Michiyo said happily.

Yuffie snapped her fingers to try to get Michiyo's attention.

"What? I was in the middle of an important story." Michiyo said putting away a microphone that she found on the ground.

Yuffie glared. "Dude, Were Not AT work! Anyways, look over there!" Yuffie pointed to Naruto standing in front of a microwave in front of the class with all of his belongings on the side and he had grown a beard that touched the ground.

"NARUTO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" Michiyo yelled.

Naruto looked to who was shouting." Hey! Michiyo-chan, Yuffie-chan, I LIVE HERE...I LIVE HERE!" Naruto said as 'I live here' seemed to repeat over and over in the duo's heads.

"Umm, Naruto, WHY DO YOU LIVE HERE?" Yuffie yelled this time. "BECAUSE MY MICROWAVE BROKE RESENTLY!" Naruto said as Iruka interrupted making a bubbly sound.

All three turned stunned to see Iruka-sensei in a tank filled with water. Michiyo and Yuffie exchanged looks of fear, sorrow and some small guilt. They both rushed over to his tank. "H-Hello." they both squeaked out.

"Hello children!" Iruka said throwing a kunai in demonstration for some of the students. Michiyo looked over to Yuffie and said, "That oddly reminded me of Chef." Yuffie nodded her head.

"Me too…"

The shuriken slowly flew through the water, but then as it hit the side of the tank that was located in the front of the room, it had made a crack. Water began to leak out and everyone was in an uproar.

Even that smelly kid decided to move by hiding under the desk. Yuffie and Michiyo rushed over to help but didn't know what to do.

Suddenly, Naruto was in his Pikachu suite and was taping up the side of the tank.

"Victory is mine! Believe it!" He then gave the V-sign to Michiyo and Yuffie in which they shook their heads.

Naruto pulled out a hair dryer and plugged it in. "I'm going to get rid of all of this water!" Yuffie and Michiyo shook there heads.

"Hey, stupid! You're going to get electrocuted." Yuffie said.

"No I won't, I'm going to blow all of the water away!" He said then turned it on. Fortunately the plug was underwater, so he was definitely electrocuted, along with poor Iruka who was swimming in the water.

"NARUTO YOU BAKA! WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD BLOW ALL OF THE WATER AWAY." Michiyo and yuffie screamed.

"I...ugh...Sasuke said I was a Pokémon." Naruto pouted.

"You Are A Ninja! Not A Pokémon, Baka! Wow that oddly sounded like toy story." Yuffie screamed at him.

"But, then what is rocky. He can lift some heavy weights." Naruto said with steam coming off him from his electrocution he recently had.

"A ROCK!" they both screamed in unison.

Naruto pouted and walked away mumbling something about, "Fish tanks and knitting sweaters." Yuffie was trying to help Iruka while Michiyo thought of any random idea for any random thing. She came to one. A light came from the ceiling and angels began to sing a heavenly song about cheesy-poofs.

Everyone was staring at Michiyo and Yuffie suddenly asked, "Uh, what's all this about?" Michiyo turned to her and smirked.

"I just got the perfect idea. Bwuahaha...Ahahaha...AHAHAHAHA!" Yuffie wanted to run away from her crazy friend when she decided to also join into the evil laughter.

Iruka timidly asked, "What's the plan..?"

Michiyo stopped laughing and pulled Yuffie along to finish her idea. Nine hours of watching anime, Yuffie asked, "What did this have to do with helping Iruka?" She turned to Michiyo.

"Nothing." was all that was said. Yuffie was utterly confused. "What do you mean NOTHING?" She yelled.

"I just wanted to do something while I thought of something to help Iruka." Michiyo smiled.

"And..?" Yuffie pushed on. "Did you think of one?" She was beginning to get a little annoyed at the beating-around-the-bush.

"Yes. Yes I did. Fufufufufu..." Michiyo began to laugh her evil laughter and suddenly stopped before Yuffie could comment. "It's quite simple really."

She began to turn serious. "We dig around Konoha and take it in a giant lifter-thingy." She used to her hands to exaggerate.

"Then, we find a giant body of water and place Konoha in there so Iruka can swim around and be a happy little dolphin." Michiyo turned back to the TV.

"Uh, what large body of water?"

"Bikini Bottom!"

Yuffie sat there stunned. "You know we cant breathe underwater." Yuffie told her. Michiyo brushed it off and continued.

"I have that all planned out. After thousands of years we will evolve in being which can freely breathe on land AND underwater. And come on, we're all fricken ninjas! We can take care of ourselves..." Michiyo rambled on and chuckled at the end.

"You know, I'm starting to question how sane you are." Yuffie deadpanned.

"I know!" Michiyo then glomped Yuffie.

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A/N: Wow…This chapter was fun editing lol…Good times…Good times…Anyway….Review, Please!


	10. Meanwhile

A/N : Ok, I think we got a little carried away with the meanwhile's…xD Well, here's the next chappie!

Disclaimer: Nothings Changed…Don't own anything…Just OC's!

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Chapter 10

-Somewhere around the Amazo- erm...Konoha...-.

"Naughty bird to mother hen. Where are you? I repeat where are you?" Kakashi questioned over the walkie talkie.

"I'mmm mmm mmm mmmmm!!" Iruka screeched which only sounded like static.

Meanwhile

"This is so troublesome."

"Shut up pineapple head!!" Ino yelled.

Meanwhile(that was pointless)

"Can you repeat that? All I heard was static mother hen." Kakashi questioned.

"Eeee!Eeee!Eeeeh! EEEE!" Iruka yelped. Kakashi quickly turned off the walkie talkie thinking it was some prank call.

"Cat women to Nature Calls!" Michiyo yelled over the talkie.

Silence…

"CATWOMEN TO NATURE CALLS!! YUFFIE?? HELLO??" Michiyo yelled louder.

"Ugh...I was ugh...digging...yeah digging." Yuffie stated.

"No, you were eating a muffin!" Naruto interrupted.

"No one was asking you foxy man!" Michiyo yelled. "Nature calls, I need you in HQ ASAP!"

"But...I'm not done with my muffin yet..." Yuffie protested.

"Just be there."

"Okay...where's HQ?" Yuffie questioned.

Silence...Meanwhile

I AM NOT A PINEAPPLE HEAD...PIG!!" Shikamaru protested.

"Right...What were we doing again?" Ino questioned.

"Some groceries our dead sensei wanted us to do for him...what?! Wait a minute..." Shikamaru answered.

Meanwhile

... ...more silence... ...

Meanwhile

Kakashi was walking down the street when a certain window caught his eye.

"Awesome! ICHA ICHA Volume 65 is out! I must have it..."Kakashi screamed like a fan girl as he glued himself to the window, soon drool was leaking out of his mouth. Shikamaru and Ino walked by and Ino noticed this but Shikamaru was too busy repeating the words. 'So...troublesome'

"Uh, Kakashi? Why are you glued to a window?" Ino asked. Shikamaru glanced over at the sight.

"I'm looking at the newest volume of Icha Icha Paradise!" Kakashi Screeched.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Shikamaru questioned. Kakashi soon realized what he did and started to panic repeatedly trying to get himself off the window.

"GET ME OFF!!" He screamed. Moments later a news van arrived at the scene and Diane Lane stepped out of the van.

"Today's top story is a poor defens-" Diane reported while making her way to kakashi to question him.

"I'm not that poor...am I?" Kakashi questioned silently.

"Sir! Can we confirm that you're Hatake Kakashi?"

Silence…

"Ugh...Sir? Don't go to the light! Stay with me!" She screamed while repeatedly hitting a tree that she was apparently 'questioning'..."Don't worry, I'm calling S.W.A.T."

Meanwhile

"Got any threes??"

"Go fish."

_Ring Ring…_

"Stupid. Weirdo's. Attacking. Trees! How can we be of service? Oops...my mistake S.W.A.T. How can we help you?" A man said while picking up a queen of hearts and talking into it.

_Ring Ring…_

"Ugh...Anyone going to answer that?" Another asked, But the ringing stopped before they could answer it.

"Hmm...Must've been a wrong number..."

"Nah, probably another cat stuck in a tree or something..."

"Should we call her?" One of them asked, "Got any fives?"

"Who?" One of them asked, slamming his hand on the table, "GOLD FISH!"

"Iunno…." He replied, taking another card from the pile in the center of the table.

-silence-

"Got any two's?"

Meanwhile

- Silence-

"Uh, Why are we in a closet again?"

"This is suppose to be my office but we ran outta funds." Michiyo responded. Soon both reporters leave the closet.

"So, What did you want again?" Yuffie asked.

"I forgot." Michiyo answered as the hotline begins to ring and Michiyo picks it up.

"Alo'?" She asked.

"Yeah..ugh...My cat won't eat, can you help?"

"I guess." Michiyo looked over to yuffie and shrugged her shoulders." Okay. how 'bout getting someone to bless the food." She suggested. Soon Michiyo heard strange chanting and held the phone between the both of them.

"Erm...It isn't working. But my house seems to be rid of ghosts now." the women said.

"Okay, how about getting a different bowl?" She suggested again.

"A...bowl?" The lady asked, seeming confused..

"Yeah, where the food goes." Michiyo explained.

"Food...?"

"Yeah, you ARE trying to feed your cat right?"

"Oh." The woman hangs up.

"What was that about?" Yuffie asked.

"Uh...not sure really..."

The phone rings again and Michiyo picks it up.

"Alo'?"

"ZOMG! MEH CAT IZ IN TEH TREE!"

"Sir, calm down." Michiyo repeated the basic procedure to the stranger.

"HELP MEHZ!"

"Spray the cat with water until it decides to come down." Was her advanced advice. Soon sounds of a dying cat filled through the phone and Michiyo hung up.

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A/N: That's all we seem to have typed so far…the rest is either still in our Math Notebooks…or forever lost…Either way, we'll try to update soon! Review please!


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